Brad insisted on babysitting if I had a date, his premise being why would I have a stranger watch them when they could be with their father. At a high level, it's hard to argue with his reasoning.
Well here is why:
It was his scheduled day to be with the kids yesterday and I asked him to keep them until 8pm, rather than 6pm, because I had a date. He insisted I text at 7:15 to tell him if I was on time. I was a little late in texting him because when I first looked, it was too early and the next time I looked it was too late. I texted at about 7:20 saying would I be on time. Despite my best intentions, by the time the check came and we walked to the parking garage and I got in my car, I was going to be about 5 minutes late. I picked up the phone to text Brad and the phone was ringing. It was him. I answered the phone and he said "Where are you?" I told him I was in the car and I would be a few minutes late, and then he called me a sl*t. Nice. He proceeded to call me 8 more times on my way home (it's like a 10 minute trip), but I never answered. He was waiting at the end of the street and pretended he was going hit my car as I turned the corner. Again, nice.
When I got to the house he knocked on the back door and I let him in (I had the phone in my hand ready to call 911 just in case). The kids were still out back. He proceeded to berate me, tell me the kids both need new shoes, the kids are both sick, the neighbor saw Luke playing out back without supervision Thursday, etc. Telling me I lied because I was late, that I did not care about the kids. It was horrible.
He told me he 'knew what I had done' or something like that, because, he said, I was wearing the same jeans as when I left. This is particularly bizarre and I don't have any idea how he came to that conclusion. I was wearing jeans when I dropped the kids off at his house at 9am. I was wearing different jeans when I left for my date, but they were, obviously, the same jeans I had on when I answered the door to him. It's clear that he thought I had had sex, but how the jeans play in, I have no idea. His mind works in mysterious ways.
I almost forgot the best part. After I asked him to keep them late, he concocted a scheme to play with the neighbors behind my house during his time with them. He told me several times Friday and again Saturday morning when I dropped the kids off that they would be out behind my house during the day and that he wanted to make sure I was not going to have 'my friend' over. I know he did this on purpose to thwart any plans I had to bring my date to the house. He is obsessed that 'my friend' not know where I live because he thinks if things go wrong this person might try to harm the kids. It's ridiculous. Little does he know, he is the biggest danger to the kids, in my opinion.
After he left, he called my cell phone three times. I didn't answer. He left a voice mail that was one minute and 21 seconds long. I have not listened to it yet, and I don't think I will. The only reason I might is for proof that he's not changed, in case I need it. He keeps threatening to go to court to try to get '50% custody'. Episodes like this are definitely not in his favor.
So basically, he's done with the babysitting. I will go out when he already has them, but I cannot ask him to keep them late, or give him any extra time with them when I need a babysitter This is exactly why I was hesitant to let him babysit in the first place and it turns out, I was right. He insists he wants me to move on, and be happy, and have a good relationship. He condescendingly tells me he thinks I will be easier to deal with when I have a boyfriend. In spite of what he says, however, he cannot handle my dating. He is crazy jealous - this is the same exact behavior as when we were married. It's coming up on two years since I kicked him out and I am still surprised at the strength of his emotion towards me.
Update: He called Sunday evening to apoligize saying he had no right to call me a sl*t (as if there is some circumstance in which he might have a right?) He insists he was just angry and not jealous. Hmmm.